My buddy is gone

My buddy is gone

28 May 2020 Lifestyle , Journal 7

My dog Tucker, of 14 years, recently passed away. He died in our living room on the floor early one morning before work. I woke at four a. m. to check on him and realized he was getting close to leaving us. I laid down next to him took our last walk together down memory lane. It was early, before sunrise. I was nervous, sad and worried. I really didn’t know what I was going to do when Tucker left my side. He has been my companion for so long. He was a beautiful Chesapeake Bay Retriever, one of those dark brown coats and a strong, powerful body. He was my buddy through the good times and the not so good times. I was laying there telling him he was such a good boy and how much I was so glad he stayed with us as long as he did. I told him he could go because I knew he was tired. I told him we would miss him so much. I reminisced about our walks and talks, our swims at the river and jumping in the ponds. As I was laying next to him he took two deep breaths. I picked up his head to see if I could get him to drink, but he was so weak and simply could not hold his head up. I laid his head back down and moved his body over a little just to make sure he was comfortable. Then I stepped away for a moment. It wasn’t long, just long enough to go to the restroom. I wasn’t sure if I was going to go to work, so I was quick. By the time I came back to his side, he was gone. Disbelief and grief were there with me as I laid down next to him and cried. It was just him and I. My boys are out on their own and my daughter was still sleeping. Sadness was overcoming me like a huge wave and I couldn’t find my breath. My daughter came out of her room and I looked at her and told her Tucker was gone. She fell to the floor and cried. I went over to her and held her and then we both sat near Tuck as we said our goodbyes. Saying goodbye was so difficult. He was our buddy, a family member, never any trouble at all. He enriched our lives so much. He was the one that always listened, always was here and never left us. He was the one that we all counted on being home when we returned. Wagging his tale and saying hello with his eyes. Always happy to see us and excited to hear about our day. As Molly and I shared our memories and talked to Tucker for the last time, we then decided we had to move him out of the living room. I didn’t know what to do next, so I ask google. Tucker is 108 pounds and I wasn’t sure how to move him and where to take him since it was only 5:30 AM. There were four steps. Put on gloves, wrap your pet in a blanket and put the body in a cool place until it can be moved to the vet. I found two blankets that were soft. I rolled his body onto the softest blanket and covered him up. Then I wrapped him in a large comforter. As we lifted his body to take him to our screened-in back porch we realized he was gone. He wasn’t here anymore, we were just moving a body. As we laid him down on his favorite rug; our hearts ached as we realized he was leaving his body and taking up permanent space in our hearts.

Tucker 09/26/2003–02/16/2017; our best buddy will live in our hearts forever.

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